What do you do if you want to study theater, but your parents want you to be a doctor? Or if your parents expect you to get an MBA and join the family business, but you just can’t see yourself being happy in that life? I have worked with many students torn between the wish to please their families and their own convictions about the path their lives should take. This is a very tough situation. Some students come from cultures where children are expected to obey their parents in all things, and to do otherwise is thought to show lack of love or respect. Some students have been told that they will be cut off financially if they don’t fall in line.

If you have a good relationship with your academic advisor, let him or her know what you are dealing with. The counseling center at your school can also help you by giving you a safe place to express feelings about the conflict with your family, and assist you in developing strategies for seeking some common ground.

Here are some ideas you can begin with:

• If your parents have one career in mind but you want to do something else, prepare a presentation on your desired field. Research prospects, average starting salaries, and typical benefits.

• If your parents are eager to see you declare a “practical” major but you’re not ready, research different majors at your college. Show your parents how course requirements work at your school—prove that it’s possible to graduate in four years even if you take time to explore.

• Don’t reject an academic field just because your parents are pushing it on you. Try a course or two in that area—you might like it after all. At least your parents will see that you gave it your best shot.

• No matter how cogent your arguments, you might need to bring in some extra support in the form of someone older—an aunt or uncle, a professor, or a family friend—your parents will listen to.

• If you and your parents can’t come to an agreement, you can always try a double major, or a major and a minor—one for them, one for you.

• See your college career counselor. With some creative vocational exploration, you may be able to find a career that bridges what you want to do and what your parents want you to do.